In my endeavor to be normal, happy, and accepting of all situations, I suppress my emotions and rarely express my mental state – especially at home.
This habit of not reacting makes me over-react at times on the most trivial of issues. Today was one such day when even a wise advise given by my parents and sister felt like it was being forced down my throat. My family expected me to follow their lead, but I burst out crying, pushing, and shouting to the extent that it scared them. My family is very sorry for what they said and I’m embarrassed of my emotional outburst.
While I have always been patient and mature, the winds are changing. I want to be left alone to make my life meaningful and purposeful. Happiness today seems a far-fetched and relative concept – at least in the present. All I want is to find my Buddha and not get affected by people.