Becoming my own friend

Our vulnerabilities cannot be felt or understood by anyone except us. The day we understand this, we would stop hoping that people would understand how we feel about certain things and life in general.

I agree that it would be wonderful if someone can just look at us and know what we are feeling and what we have gone through. It’s wonderful when someone understands us without our even telling them our stories. And we crave and crave for that sensitivity and wait for that moment hopelessly in life.

I used to believe that someone someday will appreciate my struggles, hold my hands, believe in me and calm me down. Alas, it has not happened so far in my life and I’m tired of believing that such a day will ever come in my lifetime. What I have learned to believe though is that I know my vulnerabilities more than anyone else. I know how to manage , appreciate, acknowledge, and deal with them. I have become my own healer and in the process have learned to be kind to myself.

I like myself this way. It frees me of hope and expectation and puts the onus back on me for my own well-being and happiness. I always wanted to share happiness and disappointments with a special person. I  realized it is me; no one can ever be any better, any kinder to me than I.

Acting the way I want someone else to treat me is my new principle. And so far, it is working quite well. In the end, no one ever saves us from anything, we ultimately conquer our situations with the light of God. 🙂

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